Lolayee…oh lolayee…

Last year, our family acquired a minivan with a GPS. An interactive, voice-sensitive high-tech gadget. Bill, who owns the dealership, was all praise for it. “You will never ever get lost with this thing” – this was intended for me, who has been known to get lost in my office parking lot.

So we came home, and wanted to take it for a spin with the family. I could tell R was itching to use the GPS. We were going out to eat and decided we would use the GPS to tell us where the only Olive Garden in town was located in the only main road. But first, we had to name it. So we came up with Lolayee, inspired by Robin Williams’ Lola in the movie ‘RV’ – the GPS lady in his RV.

The conversation with Lolayee went along these lines:

R: Restaurant..
Looking around at us with a proud smile after he activated it.
Lola: Rear A/C on.
R : O-live Gah-rrrr-den
Lola : Radio on.
R: now getting a bit louder: REST-UH-RONT OLIVE GARDEN.
L: Rear speakers on (music was now blaring from the backseat)
R: Come on, Lola you can do better than that.
L: Radio 92.1
R: Shut up, Lola.

We were all now confident the problem was my husband’s accent. So I tried, and managed to turn on every appliance in the car.

The kids, having been born here, sniggered. And tried to talk to her.

S (my daughter) : Mall
(Of course….that’s where SHE wanted to go)
Lola: Rear power on.
A (my son) : OLIVE GARDEN
Lola : Locating 93.1

And so it went on for another few minutes, and by this time, we had reached the restaurant.
And gave up the effort. As for the way back, let’s just say that if we had depended on her to get back home that night, we would never have made it.

Since then we have tried to talk to her, trying to coax her to give the right answers, but with similar results. Hmmm….maybe we were asking the wrong questions.
These days, Lolayee simply sulks. We just rely on the keypad to tell us where we are going and how to get there.